I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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