I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
