Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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