Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Terrible idea I love it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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