I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
