Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
