HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
not ubering you a puppy
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
