Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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