dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
