Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
