If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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