You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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