I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
bring money and cleavage
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
