A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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