Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
