Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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