Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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