So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
