and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
don't judge my taste in strippers
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My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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