no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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