john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The power of my boobs compel you
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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