He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
