What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
