Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
