I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have fence marks all over my body
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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