Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
