Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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