chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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