I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
