Whod you bang
I wanna passion pit in your ass
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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