I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
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Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
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I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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