Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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