also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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