Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
