You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I checked into jail on foursquare
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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