I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
