I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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