My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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