what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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