apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
