No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize