Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
