smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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