i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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