from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
