My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
