Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
