My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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