You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
