My cat gives me a boner
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
