I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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