I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
