Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
