i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
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That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
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He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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