Do you still have your period?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
