So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
