I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
