called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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