My friends, they love my intelligence
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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