see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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