How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
