Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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