Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
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well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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