Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Never joke about your clitoris.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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